Manners

Hong Kong's not especially famous for its good manners. I tend to stand frozen with shock, mouth agape, if anyone holds a door open for me. Some of the best advice I ever received for surviving in the city was “head down, elbows out". Once you've been barrelled over by a granny as you're stepping onto a train, it's easy to get over being polite and letting the elderly pass through in front of you ­– “they've served the city, they deserve our respect" is a little harder to swallow when you’re physically assaulted by an over-exuberant walking stick-wielder. But you have to try to keep a semblance of courtesy, or you'll go mad.

I guess it's just a fast-paced city. And you have to keep up.

But there are occasions when the lack of civility is just inexcusable.

Possibly my biggest pet peeve is restaurant service. Or the total non-existence thereof.

I like slumming it on occasion – I've sat in my fair share of cha chan tengs, noodle shops and fast food joints, and I’ve loved everything – from the speed at which the food arrived to the speed at which you’re expected to slurp up your food and get out. Even the chewed chicken bones on the table remind me how lucky I am to be part of “local" life. I don't mind that soup has been slopped over my jeans in the rush to serve; it's all part of the experience.

But when I go to a restaurant that wants to charge me $100 for a glass of wine, I don't expect to be confronted with an armpit as I'm trying to delicately fork carpaccio, or slice my monkfish. It's a) not pleasant to deal with body smells that close when I'm trying to eat, b) unnecessary – go behind me ­– and c) just plain rude. If I'm expected to pay compulsory service charge, how about a little service? Is it too much to ask I'm not exposed to underarm odour every time a plate is brought out?
Another big issue is shop service. I was out with a friend last night shopping for a friend's three-week-old son. (Incidentally, why is baby stuff so expensive? They're such SMALL creatures, surely it doesn't cost much for so little cloth! And designer baby clothes are just wicked – BB is not going to be able to wear that darling little Burberry kilt for more than a fortnight. If you've got so much money to burn, sponsor a child. Or if you really want designer goods for your child, buy it something adult-sized for when it grows up and cares.)
We were at an Italian brand store in Harbour City, browsing through adorable layette sets. I picked up a little swaddling blanket thing which didn't have a price tag, so I asked the saleswoman how much it was. She looked at the same blank tag and said she didn't know, and sort of stood there blankly. Which was when hunger kicked in. My friend and I looked at each other and realised we had to go and eat immediately, so we said we'd come back after grabbing some food. And yes, I know that people SAY that, but we're the customers, right? As we started leaving, she walked over to the counter and started typing something in to a computer - now, we realise, checking the price. As we were walking out, she muttered something in Cantonese under her breath. Even as a total ignoramus of Chinese, I knew it wasn't a cheery farewell. And my friend is a native Cantonese speaker. The saleswoman – whose name will be added here when I remember it –had sarcastically commented, "It's not going to be free, is it, meh?", or words to that effect. Great attitude, there.

And it's not the first time it's happened. A very fair-skinned, dark-haired, half-Chinese friend of mine has heard derogatory remarks directed in her or her friends' direction by jealous, overly-skinny (now, there's a post for another time) locals. Unfortunately she's understood every word. She's too good a person ever to blast back in response - I'd be screaming at them. Maybe I should look into anger management after all.

I guess the point is this: manners are not that much hard work. Holding open a door behind you for the next passer-through, saying "please" and "thank you", considering other people, even occasionally smiling at strangers don't take long. And they make life more pleasant. And seeing as life's pretty short anyway, shouldn't we do everything we can to make it as enjoyable as possible?